This morning, I found myself brewing my usual half-litre of coffee — but for the first time in a long while, without the pressure of a looming deadline. Instead, I casually got ready, overpacked (as usual), and now write this from an EMR train that has seen better days, returning to Sheffield for the first time in months.
A Class 222, I think. Honestly, not bad rolling stock — but dated, and on a line that desperately needs electrifying.
I often end up justifying the slight hyperbole I write in, out of a sort of writer’s guilt, so to fulfil that obligation: I don’t actually know whether this is the longest I’ve been away from Sheffield. Nor have I truly finished this academic year — I’ll likely have some resits or deferred work. Nothing to be ashamed of though!
As the train passes out of the Big Smoke (an apt name, given the thick blanket of summer haze), it cuts through various roads (for me: boring) but more importantly, the many rail junctions and tunnel sections. And without an academic pressure defining my relationship to infrastructure in a forced way, I now appreciate it for what it is.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I feel a much greater admiration for it. My degree isn’t finished, but I’ve done the bulk of it — in a loose sense, the undergraduate component is complete.
Ironically, I think the adage rings true: you don’t really get into your degree until the end. I certainly feel that, and I think it’s part of why I want to continue into a master’s — not just for the cooler title. Perhaps, ambitiously, I’ll work on some of the lines I’m crossing right now. Maybe some small contribution of mine will become part of the bones of this place.
Or not — and that would be fine as well.
I don’t think I’m attached to doing one specific thing in engineering, but more to being an engineer. A problem-solver. That’s where my ego has landed — in the respect and admiration of the title. Defined often by the job, yes, but for me, it’s defined by the education.
(Unjustly, I might add — I truly believe your degree doesn’t define whether you’re an engineer or not. After all, to engineer is to human.)
Maybe I’ll design a coffee brewer.
Maybe I’ll design a bridge.
Either way, I feel happy. For once, academically accomplished. And more inspired than ever to keep learning.
— Pip